Thursday, June 16, 2011

thinking ...

I have had an interesting day today ... I have been super stressed with school and other things.

Anyway, recently, I have been watching and listening to my friends carefully. I have seen my friends dating, getting married, getting divorced, getting cheated on, and doing lots of things ...

And today I have been thinking about families. We are taught that families are one of the most important social groups in our society ... but at the same time ... what do we do? We lie, cheat, get divorced, hurt our kids ... why?

My parents got divorced because of lies, lack communication, misunderstanding, and eventually one of them cheated on another. It was hard on both of them, and on my sister and I, but it happened to our family.

I wish people that are immature, selfish, or have issues stayed away from people of the opposite sex, and never got married, then no one would get hurt. I always feel bad for the families with kids ... poor little ones have done nothing to go through that... Seeing kids suffering from divorces breaks my heart, maybe cause I can relate to it, I do not know. Why can't adults be adults, and act like adults? Why can't people learn what it means to love and how to compromise? Is it cause no one teaches it? Is it that hard not to be selfish? I always thought it was easy to think of others, and care for others as yourself. Every religion teaches to take care of others, and love others, but somehow SO many people are purely selfish and they do not know how to love, it almost feels like they are handicapped. It makes me really sad ...

I always wonder about what people feel towards each other when they get married. I mean they probably love each other and want to spend their lives together ... what happens to those feelings with time? Why do people lie, cheat, and make poor choices? I mean I have never been married, but it almost seems to me that a lot of people that do get married do not even realize what love is ... I remember I was very sad that my parents got divorced, and I kinda stopped believing in the whole love thing or that marriages work. But then my dad said something that stuck in my mind, he said: "If you do everything in your power to make your husband the happiest man, and if he has the same priorities, your marriage will work out. It will require a lot of compromising, a lot of work, but the reward will be great" It sounds like a wise piece of advice. I mean this is what love is in my world. It is not infatuation, or feeling the spark (which is still a very important part of a relationship, especially in early stages), it is way more than just that. I love definition from Webster dictionary: "love is UNSELFISH LOYAL and benevolent concern for the good of another" It is so simple, seriously, why is it so hard for so many people??? I mean I am not the one to judge, I have never been married, I have never gone through the things those married couples go through. But some things people do just blow my mind. All those examples scare me. I look at the experiences my friends have and I think to myself: "Geez, I am SO happy I am single!"



However, love is beautiful. It mends everything, and makes this world look better, it really does. It knows no limits, it is kind, it is unselfish, it is giving, it makes you feel better about lots of things, it forgives, it is just amazing, it is a lodestar of life. We cannot survive without love, we absolutely need it. And I am not only talking about romantic kinda love. I am talking about love in general. I know that when I show love to my friends by serving them, it makes ME happy, I feel accomplished, it is a nice feeling, really. I wear my heart on my sleeve, everyone knows what is going on there, haha. I get hurt because of that, but I have loved every guy that I have been in a relationship with, and every friend I have had. I always put my heart into those things, whether it is a friendship or a romantic kinda thing. And to be honest, I could not have been happier with that. I mean I made my share of mistakes and poor choices, but I am where I am with a big heart that knows how to love :)

Gordon B. Hinckley said: "Love is the only force that can erase the differences between people or bridge the chasms of bitterness ... if the world is to be improved, the process of love must make a change in the heart of humans. It can do so when we look beyond self to give our love to God and others, and do so with all our hearts, with all our souls, and with all our minds." I love this quote, I'd love to elaborate on it, but it is past my bed time, and I really should have been studying instead of writing this entry :) So, I am off to bed. Sorry, if my ramblings do not make sense.

Big hug,

Kristina