HAPPY

For some odd reason I cannot stop smiling ... I have been really happy the last few days even though I have had this annoying cold that would not leave me alone ... still ... Estoy muy feliz ... Life has been really nice to me the last few weeks, and I just cannot get enough of it. However, I have been getting so sick recently I am really behind in school and it should be stressful and depressing, but here I am happy and optimistic ...
I like me, I am great hehehehehehe =)))))))
Well, it is Friday, I am outta here. Yes, I have gotten a hott date today, he is darling ;))))))))))))))))
Ttyl <3

City Girl ...

Where do I start? I have not written on here for some time ... There are a few things that had happened in my life that made me think about lots of things ...

I went through a horrid break up over a year ago that broke me in a lot of different ways ... It was hard, really hard I should say. It felt like I didn't know myself anymore ... Geez, I am glad that time is over...

Anyway, I am not going to write about my past relationships and disappointments.

But this experience made me wonder about who I am, what I like, what I dislike, etc. So, I decided to write on a piece of paper what I like and stuff and here is the list I ended up with:

• I am definitely a city girl
• I had not seen a cow in real life till I went on my mission
• I do not like getting dirty
• I do not like country music, not at all
• I luff going to clubs and pubs, lol
• I absolutely enjoy hiking 
• I am VERY down to earth
• I am a lil wild
• I am a daddy's daughter
• I luff my sister, she is mi tesorita 
• I luff dressing up! 
• I luff wearing black and white
• I cannot stand when I do not match ... it only happened a times in my life ... 
• I usually have a good sense of fashion, though, I dress hideous once in a while, LOL 
• I cannot drink milk, it makes me throw up instantly
• I was engaged twice
• Oh, if you want to get married, date one of my exes ... I am ALWAYS the one before the one they marry, lol 
• I am terrified of commitment ... I think that when the time comes and I say "I do" over the altar, I will instantly die, hahahahahaha ... 
• I hate DTRs, I mean things are usually pretty obvious, so, why do we have to say extra words, you know? 
• I absolutely dislike DRAMA, and I try to avoid it in every possible way ... though, sometimes, I am guilty of causing one ... I am a girl in the end, lol 
• I cannot be friends with fat or ugly people ... I had bad experience in high school with those, k? lol 
• I am very blunt and sincere when dealing with others, I am still tactful, do not get me wrong
• I absolutely cannot stand gossips and backbiting, this is high school material, and I am way past that phase 
• I luff my friends, they complete me
• I am an absolute optimist, there is always a way out ;) 
• I LOVE school! 
• I have a very peculiar sense of humor, but regardless, I think I am pretty funny
• I am obsessed with football (soccer) ... you do not bug me with anything when the world cup or euro cup is on, seriously ... 
• I am Ukrainian, I have the cutest accent when I speak English, and I know it, mwahahahahahahaha... 
• My mom always said that I was blessed with a talent or ability to love others ... she is probably biased, but however, I do love taking care of others 
• I love the Gospel more than anything in this world, it is the center of my life and my universe, I am grateful for having it in my life.

I thought it was a pretty funny list to share ... it also answered a lot of questions about why I do not fit in here in Provo ... I am just different :)

Other updates: BYU still rocks, even though we suck at football this year, we're still DA BEST! I am still rocking it here in P-town, school is challenging once in a while, but I somehow ALWAYS win, you know how we do it, lol. So, everything is still pretty amazing ... Oh, yeah, someone was giving me crap for my posts on facebook about men ... so, for those who did not get it ... those posts were sarcastic, they were intended to be funnay, so, apologies to those who did not get my Ukrainian sense of humor "Pardon me!" =) I luff men, they do everything for me ... they take me out on dates, they get me food, they help me with my hw, they try hard to entertain me, etc., etc.
Well, I am going to wrap up now! I will post some pictures next time I blog ... I have a ton, I should get on it!
Big hug!
Kristina

New School Year ...

It is always fun to start a new year at school, it brings a lot of good memories … at the same time it is the time for inspiration, new goals, and stuff … Every time before the first day of classes I set a new set of goals … Somehow it happens that it is a learning experience for me every year … I learned a lot of things about myself this summer. I met a lot of new people and had a lot of different experiences. I faced both excitements and disappointments … I have been both happy and stressed …  

I learned that whatever happens, I am to be nice and to help others with whatever they need help with … and if in the end they happen to not appreciate it or take advantage of it … too bad … It has worked well in my life so far … I mean the world is full of people that upset us or do not care, but it is life, I guess …

I learned that there are two types of people out there: people that we love and people that we do not know.

When we come to earth, we are so vulnerable … we are who we are … we do not know how to put walls or how to pretend to be someone we are not … we don’t play any games … we are just ourselves … but then with time things change. We realize that to survive we have to get protected, get our shields on and then it gets so hard to get to our real selves. But once we dig out that vulnerable person that came into the world … we can’t help loving him / her. I love that! I have tried really hard to stay who I am without building the walls. Remember the times when we were little kids? We’d meet other kids and we make friends in seconds, remember that? It was SO easy! Why? Because we did not have to pretend anything, we could just be ourselves. And this is how I have been my whole life. A lot of my friends told me a million times that I should protect myself and stuff. But I don’t mind getting walked over, I learned one thing “Charity NEVER fails!” Somehow, if you love others and do your best to earn that charity and apply that principle in your life, it all works out. Don’t ask me how or why, I do not know … BUT I know it does work!

Sometimes, I wish people would have been more honest … I mean a lot of times we are scared to say the truth cause it might hurt someone’s feelings … and it is understandable, but still … I remember my parents would always say that they’d rather hear painful truth than sweet lies … and I SO agree with that! I mean when it comes to dating and stuff for example, why can’t we be honest? I mean why can’t we say: “Hey, I like you!” or “Sorry, I am really not that into you”? That would have made things so much easier, but … no; instead we have to come up with some lame excuses, we play games and in the end it hurts us more …

Well, I should probably wrap up cause I am rambling now, lol. I love starting a new school year though, it always gets me into this “thinking mode”. I look forward to the new challenges and achievements, I am taking a ton of classes, and it will keep me busy, yay! I have also been blessed with a good job on campus; I enjoy working for the Office of Information Technology. I love the people I work with and I just feel lucky to be where I am.

Yay for the new opportunities and challenges! Buckle up, it is going to be a fun ride ;) 

Gratitude ...

These last few days were simply amazing. This week has been amazing. I have been noticing every little blessing that I get in my life... and I am just SO grateful ... I do not even know how to express the feeling of gratitude ... I love life, it is amazing! Seriously, everything is orchestrated in a perfect manner in my life once I make the right choices ... It is SO simple and so complex at the same time ...
Last week I got to go to California with my friend Gallia. We got to go to her grandma's funeral. It was such a good experience, I loved it. I mean it is sad she is gone, but it was such a positive event. A celebration of her life. Her family shared stories about her and it was just so amazing, it had such a great spirit! And do not get me wrong her family is mourning that she is gone, they are feeling the void and everything. But the Gospel gives you a different perspective. They all know that she is in a better place. It was cute to hear little kids saying how their grandma went to live with Jesus :)
The other thing I thought about a lot was that this life is just a blink. I thought about my life ... I mean I am not that old, but still I have been around for a while. I thought about how I am always waiting for something to happen to make my life better. I remember being a little girl dreaming about going to school, then I could not wait to go to college, then the mission, then jobs, now it is getting done with my degree again, looking forward to marriage, making more money, etc. etc. And I feel like I am missing out on what is happening in my life right now at this very moment ... noticing my little blessing and how loved I am by my family, friends, and most important my Creator ... I forget that I can do things right now instead of waiting for the future to bring something nice to me ... I know those are the things that everyone knows, we often quote that past is a history, future is a mystery, and today is the reality or something like that ... and this is true. We have got to learn to appreciate what we have today in our lives and sometimes we take things for granted. I personally am guilty of it. I love what Gordon B. Hinckley said about gratitude:
“Our society is afflicted by a spirit of thoughtless arrogance unbecoming those who have been so magnificently blessed. How grateful we should be for the bounties we enjoy. Absence of gratitude is the mark of the narrow, uneducated mind. It bespeaks a lack of knowledge and the ignorance of self-sufficiency. It expresses itself in ugly egotism and frequently in wanton mischief. We have seen our beaches, our parks, our forests littered with ugly refuse by those who evidently have no appreciation for their beauty.”This quote is just SO powerful, I love Gordon B. Hinckley, he is one of my favorite prophets. He says it so well, that I cannot even add anything to it. Let's be grateful, I guess.
I learned one other thing over the last few weeks. It is not important how much money we earn, it is not important what car we drive. But it is important what kind of a persons we are and what we bring to the world ... Because in the end once we are gone from this Earth ... we only take our deeds and testimonies with us ... I loooove the Gospel, it is perfect and beautiful!
I also got reminded that if I trust in the Lord I will be safe ... There is one last quote that I want to share with you and then I have to go to bed. It was said by Ezra Taft Benson:
"Men and women who turn their lives over to God will find out that he can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace" WOW! This is quite a promise, isn't it? I want those blessings that is why I should stop telling the Lord what I need and start letting him lead me and teach me. And I am a Soviet, so, it is hard for me to be humble at times, but I am working at it, I promise :) And I tell you that once I do what I am supposed to do, I get blessed instantly, it is simply amazing, and once again it makes me grateful ... I am SO SO SO SO grateful I have the testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I love my Father in Heaven and even though my life seems to be so hard at times, I am happy cause He is there to "deepen my joys, lift my spirit, multiply my blessings, comfort my sour, pour out peace". How incredible it is!
Let's be grateful for what we have, let's enjoy our blessings, let's serve each other, let's make a difference in this world!
Life is fun, it is tough, but no one promised it was going to be easy. Let's make the best out of it. I am down who is with me? ;))))

Snapping out ....

Today was a normal day, I got up, I went to school, I went to work ... I am feeling a lil bit sick, but other than that everything is the same.

But then I got a missed call from my ex ... nothing special he just needs to add classes that I had added for him before and now we need to coordinate the whole dropping and adding thing. But I got SO nervous when I saw his name on my cell phone ... I don't even know how to express the feelings and thoughts that were rushing through my mind ... It seemed like in seconds I lived though everything that ever happened between us ... it was really odd ... I felt weird and so, I decided not to think about it ... I had a job interview and then I met with my friend and roommie Gallia and we were about to go home when we ran into my ex ... and it felt weird again ... I do not know how to explain it, BUT a good thing about it is that I figured out that I got emotionally detached from him and that makes me really happy. I mean I still miss him and stuff, but my happiness does not depend on him anymore ... and it feels good ...

I understood a lot of things, and ... I was silly ... now I can see things with a different perspective and I am happy =))))))

It reminded me of a quote from a book I read years ago ... I do not even remember its name, but this quote makes SO much sense, I love it!

"Compared to the Earth beyond, Earth can seem as unreal and as disorienting as Dorothy found Oz to be. This is not our natural home. It would be nce to just click our heels together and go to our real home where nothing impedes growth and joy. However, I've learned that there are good reasons for having no easy outs. We must progress here while we are here and - like Dorothy's friends - acquire hearts that love, brains equipped with wisdom and truth, and courage to find and follow our yellow-brick roads. By gaining any measure of these we grow ...

Mistakes can be our best teachers. Some of us, though, have to repeat our mistakes over and over before we finally get things right. And when we do, we say, "DUH!" because what's right is always present - and, therefore, obvious when we finally see it.

The object of life is getting to "DUH!" as quickly and as painlessly as possible. But there is a catch: the short course to "DUH!" is seldom the safe course. The creator never leads us to "DUH!" through unnatural shortcuts. We forge them for ourselves.

Could it be a clue? Are we meant to take long road to the top when it is the safe road? Can our struggles sometimes tell us that we are on the right path??????"

I am glad to finally be able to get to my "DUH!"... I mean it took me a while ... like seven months, but, hey, I got where I am now... so, it all that matters, right? I definitely learned a lot though ... and it was indeed painful for me ... SO glad it is over. I feel like I am a new person and it is exciting.

I am single and free and it makes me VERY VERY happy =))))))

I have so many things to enjoy, it makes me dizzy. I got a sick internship that I am very excited about. It is with OMNI Investor Advisors. I will work as a financial analyst there, but more important they are going to let me manage trading portfolios. And I am crazy about trading. I am SUPER excited. I have also been looking for a different job, I interviewed with a guy from an Employment office at BYU who needs an Assistant. The interview went really well and I think I might be getting a job, we'll see.

Things are getting SO much better in my life. I feel like I get blessed promptly and sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable cause I feel like I do not really deserve all of it, if you know what I mean :)))))))))

I have also been blessed with amazing friends. I love them all, they make a big difference in my life! Thanks, guys.

Oh, the other week we went to the festival of colors ... this is a Krishna thing ... I do not even know what meaning or significance it has, but all the BYU students go there, I guess. So, we went as well. I went with my rommie Missy, her bf Daniel, my friend Eric, Eric's cousin Dan, and our friend Julio. We had SO much fun painting each other's faces ... I am posting a few pictures so that you can see what we looked like ... it was rad, I loved it... Eric and Dan had a little bit too much fun putting colors on my face and I ended up having too much ... I think, but I did not mind at all. You should have seen people's faces when we went to Subway to eat after the festival .... OMG ... this little girl was looking at me and asking her mom what had happened to "that girl's face", lol. And then I got home and we had some people coming over to see the house because it is being sold ... and they got scared when I opened the door ... Anyway, it was a lot of fun for sure!
Daniel, Missy, Eric, mysef, Julio, Dan =))))

Life is good! You have got to love it =))))))))