I love the time before the conference. A week or so before the conference, I always go on back and read all the talks from the previous conference, it is kinda a tradition I have had for a while now. I also like reading my journal to see what happened since the last conference. And all I have to say is that I feel blessed and grateful, seriously.
Lot of things happened to me within the last six months. The school has been good, I was stressed happy, heartbroken, I experienced all the emotions I could have experienced within last 6 months. I dated A LOT, haha.
I was going out with a Utah boy in October - November. I liked that guy lots and lots. I had fun going on dates with him, but then it had to end, haha. I felt like a kid who got out to the playground and had a great day, and then all of the sudden I had to go home and say bye to my new best friend and probably never see him again. It was a good time though. I got to know the guy, I got to like him a lot. And even though he was not the nicest guy towards the end of that journey, I still hold only good memories about him.
After that I took a break from dating anyone in particular and just enjoyed my life for a while. It was a good time too. I had more time for myself, and was just kicking it with my friends.
Then I dated a guy from California. He was really nice. He reminded me of my dad in a lot of ways, and I wont lie that made me like him a lot. But it is in the past.
It is funny how over the last 6 months or so I wrote about relationships and loving others a lot. I learned a lot of the lessons, I made a ton of mistakes, but I feel like I became a better person along the way. Every small battle that I conquered made my heart more capable to love and appreciate the things I have in my life. I learned to appreciate and care for others in a better more meaningful way. And I am SO grateful! I learned that loving others is taking risks, but you still gotta put your whole heart into it. Chances are that your heart will get broken, scarred, and even bruised ... but I also learned that getting hurt is a necessary part of life, and that without getting hurt, it is not possible to love, and be happy, that for some reason the opposition is vital to be able to even understand what love is and how it feels if you know what I mean. Some of my friends tell me how I should put some guard on and be more careful. They all try to teach me how to not be vulnerable. I love what C.S. Lewis said it: "Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin or your selfishness. But in that casket safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable impenetrable, irredeemable. TO LOVE IS TO BE VULNERABLE!" I love the fact that my family taught me that being vulnerable is ok. My mom always tells me that I have been blessed with a special ability to love and care for others, and I am SO grateful for that. I am grateful I can love my family, friends, and other people that I meet in my life. And it is ok to get heartbroken, it is ok to be sad because things did not go the way you wanted them to go or because someone that you thought the world of hurts you; it is ok to be vulnerable :))))))) I have grown SO much by putting my heart out there, by being nice when everyone would say that I should not, by serving every guy I dated, by being there for my friends. I love "love", I love being kind, I am SO grateful ... I feel SO blessed, even though, I have gotten hurt immensely along the way ... All of those experiences made me capable to love others in a different very deep and meaningful way
Lot of things happened to me within the last six months. The school has been good, I was stressed happy, heartbroken, I experienced all the emotions I could have experienced within last 6 months. I dated A LOT, haha.
I was going out with a Utah boy in October - November. I liked that guy lots and lots. I had fun going on dates with him, but then it had to end, haha. I felt like a kid who got out to the playground and had a great day, and then all of the sudden I had to go home and say bye to my new best friend and probably never see him again. It was a good time though. I got to know the guy, I got to like him a lot. And even though he was not the nicest guy towards the end of that journey, I still hold only good memories about him.
After that I took a break from dating anyone in particular and just enjoyed my life for a while. It was a good time too. I had more time for myself, and was just kicking it with my friends.
Then I dated a guy from California. He was really nice. He reminded me of my dad in a lot of ways, and I wont lie that made me like him a lot. But it is in the past.
It is funny how over the last 6 months or so I wrote about relationships and loving others a lot. I learned a lot of the lessons, I made a ton of mistakes, but I feel like I became a better person along the way. Every small battle that I conquered made my heart more capable to love and appreciate the things I have in my life. I learned to appreciate and care for others in a better more meaningful way. And I am SO grateful! I learned that loving others is taking risks, but you still gotta put your whole heart into it. Chances are that your heart will get broken, scarred, and even bruised ... but I also learned that getting hurt is a necessary part of life, and that without getting hurt, it is not possible to love, and be happy, that for some reason the opposition is vital to be able to even understand what love is and how it feels if you know what I mean. Some of my friends tell me how I should put some guard on and be more careful. They all try to teach me how to not be vulnerable. I love what C.S. Lewis said it: "Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin or your selfishness. But in that casket safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable impenetrable, irredeemable. TO LOVE IS TO BE VULNERABLE!" I love the fact that my family taught me that being vulnerable is ok. My mom always tells me that I have been blessed with a special ability to love and care for others, and I am SO grateful for that. I am grateful I can love my family, friends, and other people that I meet in my life. And it is ok to get heartbroken, it is ok to be sad because things did not go the way you wanted them to go or because someone that you thought the world of hurts you; it is ok to be vulnerable :))))))) I have grown SO much by putting my heart out there, by being nice when everyone would say that I should not, by serving every guy I dated, by being there for my friends. I love "love", I love being kind, I am SO grateful ... I feel SO blessed, even though, I have gotten hurt immensely along the way ... All of those experiences made me capable to love others in a different very deep and meaningful way
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