Geez!!!!!!

Okay, Thanksgiving break is over ... it is SO hard to get back to school after being off for a week. Remember how I said I was going to study the whole break? Well, I have not touched a book over this time ... Now, I will have to lock myself in a room and just study my life away ... Seriously, why does school have to be so stressful????? I wish I were stressed over other things, but nothing stresses me out the way school does ... GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Other than that I had a really good break. I had time for family and friends and I just loved every minute of it. I ate TOO MUCH that is for sure.
My friends took me shooting on Thursday ... dang, I forgot how much I love guns ... My friends and I were joking around about how I should just join US Army and stuff ... hehehehe, guns make me happy =)))))) It was a good day. I got SO cold while we were shooting, but if I could I'd stay longer and shoot more. After shooting we ate some dinner, then watch a movie. I love my friends they are like a family to me, and I surely do appreciate their love and care.
Later on Thursday I went to my sister's fiance's house ... they had lots of family over ... played some monopoly, ate more food ... I laughed my head off while watching those Mexicans cheating while playing monopoly ... It was a good day overall.
On Friday I got to hang out with my friend from California and her family. I had SO much fun. They are fun, kind, and nice people ... They had a Thanksgiving dinner a day late cause of the family travelling home, I guess.
I have been eating lots this past Thanksgiving, gym is calling my name now. Good thing I have a fit ball and a jump rope ... Exercising here I come ...
Anyway, I should finish my ramblings ... Life is good ... I cannot wait for finals to be over so that I can enjoy the snow and all the fun it brings.
Christmas is almost here, yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoying the ride ...

Today is a beautiful day ... it is sunny and freaking cold ... I kinda wish it snowed a little ... I almost feel like the snow makes it warmer ...
Today finally everything was said between me and the guy that I was KINDA dating ... and it makes me really happy. Life is an interesting thing ... people come and go ... you learn and grow ... there are dear friends and family that stay by your side whatever happens ... I am happy I did not get too attached. I must admit it was a good month and a half, I enjoyed it lots ... I have good memories to remember ... now is the time to do different things ... I don't take it as the end of something, but rather a beginning of something new and fabulous...  I am very excited!!!!!
I am thinking about going to NYC for the New Year, but before I have to survive the finals. Sometimes it is tough to be a nerd, hahahahahahaha ...
It is Thanksgiving tomorrow, I am SO excited to spend time with family and friends ... and eat away =)))))))
Then I have a few more days off to study and prepare for the finals ... I cannot wait to graduate and start working full time ... it is going to be so much fun, seriously ... I am also looking forward to moving out of Utah, though, the chances are that I'll stay here loooooooool ...
I also got some reeds for my saxophone ... it is time to get back to playing ... I also need to pick up a good book to read besides my textbooks and the scriptures ... dang, I am so busy, I luff it!!!!!!!
Life has been really good to me, and I am VERY grateful for all the things I have ... Now, is the time to open new doors and explore new opportunities ... no looking back, just heading forward.
Buckle up, it is going to be a fun ride =)))))))))))))))))

Butt head ...

This is the only time when I'd admit that I am a butt head ... well, at least, I am cute, loooooooooooool.
I have always thought that I was really good at communicating. I never had a problem letting others know how I feel. I always felt that I am pretty opened and honest about my feelings... Yesterday I learned that I suck at communicating, more than that I misunderstand things and jump into conclusions ... dang, I am bad, hahahaha ... Oh, well... at least I feel like I still communicated my issues and was able to figure things out ... I mean it took me a while ... I am a girl in the end AND I am from Ukraine hehehehehehehe ... At some point I felt very stupid to be honest. Anyway, yesterday is over. Today is a new day, and it is a good day so far. Though, it is freaking cold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You gotta love Utah and its winters.
Well, this is it for now.

Tough week ...

Man, I am SO happy this week is over ... it was a tough one. I felt like people around me just wanted to get my guts out and walk over them, seriously ... even the people that are supposed to love me and care for me were not very nice ... Dang, it was SO hard to suck it up and stay positive and be nice to everyone ... I thought I was going to break, but I did not ... I am SO proud of myself!!!!!!
I have not been that miserable in a few months ... Thursday night was rather tough ... it was just the last drop, I could not take it anymore. I cried most of the night along with having nightmares ... yeah, I know ... horrible, huh? I was hurt, BUT I was good at making myself get over it ... I was fine by Saturday morning :))))))) I went partying with ma friends ... dancing and chilling always helps me to let it out ... The highlight of Friday night was getting pulled over ... I have gotten pulled over so many times this year ... geez!!!!! Not one ticket though, I am that good ;) this time the cop passed me by, but then slowed down and pulled me over. He said I was speeding when I know I was not whatsoever ... I had my cruise control on the speed limit ... and when I told him that I am pretty sure I was not speeding he said: "Yeah, I know, you are cute though, can I have your number?" I had to reject him, oh, well ... it is life ... hehehehehehe ...
My weekend was ok, I spent the whole Sunday in my pjs, doing nothing ... Saturday was rather productive I studied a bunch and ran some errands ...
Once again, I am happy this week is over,  hope that this coming week will bring me more joy =))))))))))
Life is an interesting thing, you gotta luff it!

Te echo de menos!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =(

Do you ever feel like you wanna go back in time? Because I definitely do. I wish I could be a child again ... I just want my Daddy to hold me. For some reason, I just feel very vulnerable and insecure. I remember being little my Dad had the ability to take all my worries away and just make me feel safe ... Geez, I wish he knew how much I miss him! I would kill to go there and be embraced in his arms. I want to hear his encouragements, I want him to take care of me... Is it weird that I want to be a lil girl? I just want my big and strong Daddy to protect me from the world, to protect me from all the pain and challenges there are. I was a fun child ... I came to the world a lil bit too fat (my poor mom), but I brought my parents lots of joy =)))))))

I remember my Dad telling me "Enjoy being a child, one day, you'll grow up and the things that are available to you right now would not be available to you anymore", and here I am wishing to go back to that time ...

Life is a weird thing ... time flies SO fast ... sometimes, I wish I could stop it, sometimes, I wish it would go by a lil faster... I was thinking the whole night last night and the whole day today about life and people, and how other people affect me ... What has always blown my mind is how little things people say or even how they say them can dramatically change the way I feel even when they do not mean it ... maybe it is just me, I am a Capricorn, every little thing matters to me ... I mean I can put up with lots of things, I am a tough Soviet ... but still ...

Anyway, I wish I were not as nice as I am ... I wish I read my books yesterday instead of proofreading my friend's paper ... Oh, well, I guess it is life, you gotta do what you gotta do ... They always say it is a learning experience ... hehehehehe ... 

Giving thanks =)))))))))))))))

I just remembered that it is a Thanksgiving month ... yeah, it is November!!!!!!! Exciting ... I love Thanksgiving, though, I do not like the food they eat in America for Thanksgiving (it is a lil plain to my Eastern European taste), BUT the idea of Thanksgiving is the best! So, I decided to put together the things and people that I am grateful for:

I am VERY grateful for my family, my little sister in particular. She has been my treasure ever since she joined our family. She has been my strength and joy lots of times. She is a doll. She is smart, funny, beautiful, and just the best sister in the entire world. She moved to America with me, and I seriously, do not imagine and I do not want to imagine what it would have been like to live here without her. She has been very supportive and loving.

My mom is the bestest lady out there. She is far away and easier to love for this reason, lol. But still I am very grateful for the phone calls that she makes and the love and care she provides for both my sister and I. She is always available for a piece of advice. She is fun! She has been a good mom =))))))

Another person I am VERY grateful for is my ex-Bishop Brother Bob Buckner ... at some point he saved my life. He was there for me when no one else was. He was understanding and caring. He is like a father to me. I love him and care for him, and I will always be grateful for having him in my life.

There are other people I appreciate lots. My friend Tasha, Anna, and Gallia. All three of them have been of great support and lots of fun. Tasha is the closest friend I ever had, she is someone that would always understand, would always care and help, and would NEVER judge. I had SO much fun with her, I miss her greatly. My friend Anna was my roommate for some years ... she is amazing. We have lots of differences with her, but I trust her. She has been there for me when I did not make sense to anyone, she always tried to understand me, at the same time she is like a sister to me. Sometimes I'd be excited for something or even a guy and I'd send her a picture and all she'd say would be: "He looks like a horny immature kid". And I'd think "Thanks, darling, that is exactly what I wanted to hear, dang it!" My friend Gallia is more of a spiritual  buddy to me. It is amazing how much we disagree about life and how many times we got into arguments, but we still love each other somehow, lol.

I could not have lived my life the way I have without all these amazing people, I love you all! I appreciate everything you do for me. I feel SO blessed because of you, Thanks!!!!! My life has not been the easiest journey, but because of the people that I have in my life, it is much more fun and it is easier and more enjoyable. I luff each of you, and I appreciate all of you and each of you. Once again, thanks a bunch =)))))))
Big Hug and Happy Thanksgiving season <3

Sigh ...

Dunno why, but I have had a really tough week so far ... I wish I could blame it on pms or something, but it is not the case ... The time has been dragging SO slowly, and I just feel unproductive and stupid ... like seriously ... It is only Wednesday and I feel like it should already be Friday ... I have so many things to do ... so much homework ... so many errands to take care of ... and on top of all of it the weather has been nasty ... ewwww ... I have been super emotional and needy ... but at the same time, I am very proud of myself cause I have been capable of keeping it to myself and just doing the things that I am supposed to ... maybe I should start taking my A.D.D. pills, I have a ton, lol ...

Feeling blue is not fun, not at all whatsoever ... I hope it will go away by the weekend ...

Other than that life has been treating me really nicely. I luff it, it luffs me back ... it is a good deal ;))))))))))

Wednesday is almost over, two more days to go and another week is over!!!!!!!!