Friday, November 11, 2011

Insanity day 3

Insanity day three - Cardio Resistance & Power. I loved this intense workout. At some point I felt like I could not do it, but I made it, I did cheat a lil by taking extra water breaks =))))) I woke up sore today, surprise. I feel my abs every time I breathe in. I love the feeling.

Today is a cardio recovery day, it should be slower, I am very excited to stretch and relax tonight. 

AND it is Friday! Happy Friday, everyone ;))))))))) 

<3 <3 <3 <3 

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Insanity ...

So, this post is a little different from my usual posts, but I hope that blogging about my progress will help me stay motivated and not to give up. I started a 60 day Insanity workout program on Tuesday, and in short it is kicking my butt :)

When I decided to start this workout, I knew it was tough, but I did not realize how tough it was going to be. On Tuesday I did the fit test that was tough, but it was only about 30 min workout with frequent breaks. I did better than I thought I was going to do and almost did not sweat (I usually never sweat, my body just doesn't). Yesterday was a Plyometric Cardio Circuit day. This workout made me sweat big time, the sweat was dripping off me. That had NEVER happened to me before. And some of you might think: "Of course not you probably never work out". But it is not the case I do work out. I usually try to work out about five times a week, but this cardio work out did indeed kick my butt. I workout at night, so, afterwards all I could do was taking a shower, drinking a protein shake, and going to bed. I had never fallen asleep that fast. I was gone as soon as I put my head on the pillow, and this is very unusual, I usually stay up for a long time before I fall asleep. I kinda like it. I slept like a baby for good nine hours :) When I woke up this morning, I could feel every muscle there is in my body. I like the feeling, I am not going to lie.

Oh, also I got on a nutrition plan. I have to eat 5 times a day not more than 1900 calories. It is tough to eat that much cause I am never hungry, haha. But at the same time it pays off at night when I workout. I do get enough energy, so, it is kinda nice. I like the fact that it is a healthier eating. I am a healthy eating habits fan.

So, yeah, this is what I do now. I workout, study, and work. And to be honest, I enjoy it lots :) I look forward to my workout tonight. I will keep you all updated! Thanks for all your support.

Much love <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSccVzdYhmI&extcmp=c77044cd60b6&ef_id=r4JN3AYesU8AAM2g:20111110202347:s


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Can't fall asleep

It is 3:20 a.m. and I am wide awake? Why? I would love to know the answer to this question, haha. Lots of things have been rushing through my mind, all of those thoughts are really random and different. It reminds me of Mark Gungor when he talks about women brain and men brain. "Women's brains are very very different from men's brains. Women's brains are made of a big ball of wire, and everything is connected  to EVERYTHING" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BxckAMaTDc this is exactly how I feel :)

Anyway, I am awake thinking about EVERYTHING, lol. I miss being in a big city, I miss my culture where people value relationships ... it has been a HUGE adjustment to move to Provo, Utah. It is considered to be a bigger town, but if you ask me ... I'll just say that it is really really small, haha. However, I did get used to it, and now it does not seem that small. I love being in school, I have learned lots of new things. I met lots of great people and a few who are not so great. I have learned plenty of life lessons. I got disappointed, heartbroken,etc., but I remained the same Kristina. I am a hopeless romantic that wears my heart on a sleeve. Some of my friends (including my sister) have been trying to teach me to be tough and not let others walk over me. And they have the point. BUT if you ask me, I'd rather be a pushover than a B word. However, I do not think I am a pushover, I just try to be nice to everyone, but sometimes I am not.

I am still convinced that I have the best dad in the world, and I absolutely adore my younger sister. I got disappointed with friends, but I still have the best ones. I got disappointed with myself (many times), but I still try to be the best I can and not get too down on myself. I have fell on my face, but managed to get up and walk again. A lot of times I look back at my choices and I squint and say: "Can we pretend it has never happened? Can someone erase it for me, and make everyone forget about it?" I bet everyone has those moments.

I have also been thinking about relationships... do they really have to be that complicated? I mean even with friends ... there is always someone who gets jealous, says things, and causes drama ... why? And then people get offended, and hurt ... why again? With guys ... well, it gets even more complicated ... you gotta play THE game. If you are a girl, you absolutely cannot show much of an interest because if you do, you are doomed. You will be considered desperate and pathetic.If you play hard to get, you will probably get some conceited jerk pursue you cause those like to have things that they cannot have. A good regular guy thinks that you are too much to handle, nerds are too busy with StarCraft and other video games ... so, you are stuck with jerks and players ... why can't things be easy as they used to be in childhood? Remember when you got out to the playground and met a ton of new kids? Remember how in a blink of an eye absolute strangers became your friends? It was SO natural and easy ... why can't we just say: "Hey, I like you!" instead of playing all those games?

Another subject that was, apparently, connected to the one above is chills and tingly feelings in romantic relationships. I feel like the whole Hollywood Fairy Tale idea kinda ruined it for everyone. It seems like people in our days are looking for this constant excitement and when it is not there ... they leave. I have been around for a while and I can tell you for darn sure that chills / tingly feelings come and go. I mean it is nice to be head over heals for someone, but is it necessary? Or can you be head over heals for a long time? Or for how long should you be twitterpatted before you take your relationship seriously? A few of my friends have been talking about it a lot recently. If you ask me, I'd rather have a solid, firm, and reliable partnership kinda thing in my relationship than the chills...

Ooops, it is already 4:16 ... I have to be at work in less than 5 hours ... wish me luck waking up. Tomorrow is going to be A LONG day :)

Sorry if my ramblings do not make sense. I am just thinking out-loud :)

Love ya all <3




Monday, July 18, 2011

When it rains, it pours ...

I want to say thank you to all my friends that have been so supportive. It is cute that everyone thinks that I am dying right now. I am ok. No, really, I am ok. I have heard SO many compliments, encouragements, opinions, etc, since last night. I really appreciate all those. I am sorry for not answering my phone yesterday and today, I just feel like I need time and space to process things and decide what direction I want to head.

Yesterday was quite a day for me ... someone was really rude to me in Russian, called me names, and told me to f off ... all the words that were said were super rude. I also got allergies cause I ate some cilantro and I am allergic to it. So, I look like I have been crying and not sleeping ... and then to top it off, I got broken up with the same night ... great! I must say I kinda knew it was coming. He acted weird, and I have felt all the warnings ... it still hurts, I mean no one likes to be broken up with or left behind. And if there is someone who does ... that person is crazy.

I remember growing up my dad taught me a lot about love and relationships. I think he was so paranoid about it because my mom did not know how to love. She was super young when she had me, and she was a little selfish. A lot of times I thought that my mom felt stuck with us, and she did not like it. But she learned later.

Anyway, my father always taught me that one day I will meet this special guy whom I'll love. He taught me that I gotta learn to love him now even though I have not met him yet. It was funny cause I was very little, and I would always tell him that he was silly and I will never love anyone, but him. Those memories make me smile and bring tears to my eyes. I love my dad, he is a great man. But this thing that he taught me when I was little makes it easier for me to survive breakups. I feel like "Oh, he was not the guy then. Have not met my man yet", and I move on. It is harder when I do feel otherwise ... but it has not happened many times, probably twice in my life when I fought for the guy with all my might. I am kinda glad those days are in the past.

I have to say that I sincerely loved and cared for every guy I dated. I have a few crazy stories, but every guy I dated in the past is a great person that affected me in a certain way. I am what I am because of the people I interact with, and I am grateful for all of them. I mean some of them broke my heart to little pieces, but because of it, my heart became bigger and more capable to love and care for others. Sometimes, we might look at our past relationships as a failure, and I am guilty of feeling this way, till we meet someone else, and then we realize how much we have learned from our previous relationships. I mean in the whole love thing nobody wins or loses, right?

It is important to know when to hold on and when to let go. You know that you love someone when you want that person to be happy no matter what, even if it means that it is not with you. Everything happens for a reason :)

They say that if you don't hurt, you won't ever learn how to love.

One failure relationship should not destroy love. However, it is SO hard to let go when all you want is to hold on, and then you hold on when you should really let go ... cause you can never find the right person if you hold on to the wrong one ... but at the same time the moment you think that you are ready to let go, you all of the sudden remember why you were holding on for such a long time .... It is so hard to forget about what you want and to remember what you deserve ...

I like comparing love with investing ... it is risky. The risk of investing is that your investment won't bring you anything back, and you'll lose your money. To live is to risk dying and to hope is to risk failure. But we gotta take risk cause it is dangerous to risk nothing at all in our lives. The risk of loving someone is not being loved in return. It was a hard concept for me to grasp cause to be honest, it is so much easier to just be idle, and not worry about anything.

My friend emailed this quote to me today that made me think about lots of things and kinda inspired this entry: "How to define love: "Fall but do not stumble. Be constant but not too persistent. Share and never be unfair. Understand and try not to demand. Hurt but never keep the pain. Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end. Loving people means giving them the freedom; whom they choose to be and where they choose to go. Loving someone means giving them the freedom to find their way, whether it leads towards you or away from you" - I do not know who said it or where my friend found this quote, but it makes perfect sense. And this is what I feel about the guy I dated till last night. If he feels this is the right way to go, fair enough. I let go. It might not be what I want. But I might want something different from what I deserve.

I am grateful for all the experiences in my life. I took a day off work today. My allergy wont go away, and as I mentioned before I need time to process everything, and decide what direction I want to head. I know it might not be an easy route, but it will be amazing in the end. Cause life is awesome (I hate that word btw, haha)

Once again, thanks to all my friends and family for your support. Each of you means the world to me. I am fine, I will be back in the loop tomorrow, I promise.

BIG HUG <3

Kristina 

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The hardest things ...

In this life I have had to do lots of things that were tough, and unpleasant. But I find that the hardest one is to say goodbyes to the people that you care for. Today my sister and I met with some of the dearest people in our lives, Kevin and Melissa Brooks to say goodbye before they take off for their new adventure in Montana.
We met for dinner, next time we see them we will be wearing sweaters and boots, yay for winters, haha =) 

They are like a family to us, older siblings that I never got to have. Melissa takes a really special place in our lives cause we learned about the church from her. Some years ago, this zealous young missionary came to our house to teach us about the gospel. She was SO cute! She had been only two months or so in Ukraine when she and her companion came to our house to teach us. Both of them knew just about enough to get around :) It was a great experience. Melissa is a real example to me. If you look for a perfect woman role model that would be her. She is amazing. She is everything a man could wish for (lucky Kevin, haha). She is a perfect mom, and a great wife. Every time I am around her, I think to myself: "I want to be like her". She is consistent, persistent, loyal, kind, fun to be around ... and the list goes on and on. Melissa is a mom of four adorable children whom we love greatly. We were sad we did not get to see them, but hopefully, we'll be able to get together a few times a year and see them all.
Kevin is an ambitious man that we love as well. I hope one day I will meet a man that would be as ambitious, smart, and aggressive as Kevin is. I always look up to him. He is motivated, driven, and I just love him cause he reminds me of myself, lol ;))))))) (I had to compliment myself in this entry, just kidding).
But seriously, I have learned SO much from this couple. I got lucky to live with them in the fall of 2008, and it was a blast. I loved every second of it. I miss our evening talks on the couch when Kevin and Melissa would ask me about my life and we'll talk about my career goals, Ukraine, boys, and life in general.
Oh, how much I am going to miss them! I wish I spent more time with them when they just lived twenty minutes away ... and it was always nice to know that if anything out of ordinary happens, they are there. Now, I will have to make an 8 hour drive if anything ... haha ... which is not a big deal, right?
 But do not get me wrong, I am excited for their new adventures that are ahead of them. I am SUPER excited for Kevin's new job. I am just whining cause I feel like screaming "Take me with ya!" haha.
This family holds a very special place in our hearts and I am just grateful we have them. It is just hard to have them leave, but changes are for better.
I will definitely miss all the teasing about being a BYU fan, cheering for Klitchko because there is no one else to cheer for in Ukraine, and lots of other things. And who is going to tease me about my boy situation? Oh, I forgot I have a sister that lives just ten minutes away, lol.
We love our Brooks family. They are amazing! We are SO grateful for everything they have done for us. I do not know where I would have been and what I would have done with my life if Melissa Brooks (Sister Keith) has not touched our lives in a very special way.
It is hard to see them move out of state, but we will find ways to keep in touch and stay close.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

thinking ...

I have had an interesting day today ... I have been super stressed with school and other things.

Anyway, recently, I have been watching and listening to my friends carefully. I have seen my friends dating, getting married, getting divorced, getting cheated on, and doing lots of things ...

And today I have been thinking about families. We are taught that families are one of the most important social groups in our society ... but at the same time ... what do we do? We lie, cheat, get divorced, hurt our kids ... why?

My parents got divorced because of lies, lack communication, misunderstanding, and eventually one of them cheated on another. It was hard on both of them, and on my sister and I, but it happened to our family.

I wish people that are immature, selfish, or have issues stayed away from people of the opposite sex, and never got married, then no one would get hurt. I always feel bad for the families with kids ... poor little ones have done nothing to go through that... Seeing kids suffering from divorces breaks my heart, maybe cause I can relate to it, I do not know. Why can't adults be adults, and act like adults? Why can't people learn what it means to love and how to compromise? Is it cause no one teaches it? Is it that hard not to be selfish? I always thought it was easy to think of others, and care for others as yourself. Every religion teaches to take care of others, and love others, but somehow SO many people are purely selfish and they do not know how to love, it almost feels like they are handicapped. It makes me really sad ...

I always wonder about what people feel towards each other when they get married. I mean they probably love each other and want to spend their lives together ... what happens to those feelings with time? Why do people lie, cheat, and make poor choices? I mean I have never been married, but it almost seems to me that a lot of people that do get married do not even realize what love is ... I remember I was very sad that my parents got divorced, and I kinda stopped believing in the whole love thing or that marriages work. But then my dad said something that stuck in my mind, he said: "If you do everything in your power to make your husband the happiest man, and if he has the same priorities, your marriage will work out. It will require a lot of compromising, a lot of work, but the reward will be great" It sounds like a wise piece of advice. I mean this is what love is in my world. It is not infatuation, or feeling the spark (which is still a very important part of a relationship, especially in early stages), it is way more than just that. I love definition from Webster dictionary: "love is UNSELFISH LOYAL and benevolent concern for the good of another" It is so simple, seriously, why is it so hard for so many people??? I mean I am not the one to judge, I have never been married, I have never gone through the things those married couples go through. But some things people do just blow my mind. All those examples scare me. I look at the experiences my friends have and I think to myself: "Geez, I am SO happy I am single!"



However, love is beautiful. It mends everything, and makes this world look better, it really does. It knows no limits, it is kind, it is unselfish, it is giving, it makes you feel better about lots of things, it forgives, it is just amazing, it is a lodestar of life. We cannot survive without love, we absolutely need it. And I am not only talking about romantic kinda love. I am talking about love in general. I know that when I show love to my friends by serving them, it makes ME happy, I feel accomplished, it is a nice feeling, really. I wear my heart on my sleeve, everyone knows what is going on there, haha. I get hurt because of that, but I have loved every guy that I have been in a relationship with, and every friend I have had. I always put my heart into those things, whether it is a friendship or a romantic kinda thing. And to be honest, I could not have been happier with that. I mean I made my share of mistakes and poor choices, but I am where I am with a big heart that knows how to love :)

Gordon B. Hinckley said: "Love is the only force that can erase the differences between people or bridge the chasms of bitterness ... if the world is to be improved, the process of love must make a change in the heart of humans. It can do so when we look beyond self to give our love to God and others, and do so with all our hearts, with all our souls, and with all our minds." I love this quote, I'd love to elaborate on it, but it is past my bed time, and I really should have been studying instead of writing this entry :) So, I am off to bed. Sorry, if my ramblings do not make sense.

Big hug,

Kristina

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

trials ...

I rarely get down on myself, but these last few days have been one of these days. I feel horrible ... I feel like I am failing at life ... I am very sad cause I was mean to the person I really care for ... what's my deal? I never do that. I am usually nice. I am a happy person, and I always try to stay positive and optimistic. This is SO weird ... I feel like I have been doing everything I am supposed to be doing ... but I still fall on my face.
I need to change something, I need to learn something out of this experience. I have been trying to look for the lessons to learn out of it. I said I am sorry to the person I was mean to, I am trying hard to be positive, and keep my chin up. I am trying to be grateful for all the things and people I have in my life ... but nothing really changes ... am I on the wrong track? am I heading the wrong direction? What's wrong with me?
However, I am grateful. I am grateful for my family. I have an amazing bunch of people that I happened to be related to. They are NOT perfect, but they are amazing. My sister is my treasure, I love her a ton. My mom can be really annoying at times, but she is the best mom I could have wished for. My dad is my dad, everyone knows how much I love him, and how highly I think of him. He is simply the best! I have a few really close friends as well. And I am VERY grateful for them. I am grateful for everything I have in my life, I have been richly blessed to be honest.I am not going to say what those blessing are on here (well, at least not in this entry), but there are lots of things to be grateful for. And I am VERY grateful, even though, it is tough for me right now. I KNOW things will work out.
I love the quote about gratitude, it reads:

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what
we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into
acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can
turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger
into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings
peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
~ Melody Beattie

Let's be grateful, let's love one another and respect one another whatever happens. Let's be considerate and unselfish. It gets super hard at times, but it is worth it.
Love ya all, and I mean it ... I really do!

Big hug!

me

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Blessed & Grateful

I love the time before the conference. A week or so before the conference, I always go on back and read all the talks from the previous conference, it is kinda a tradition I have had for a while now. I also like reading my journal to see what happened since the last conference. And all I have to say is that I feel blessed and grateful, seriously.

Lot of things happened to me within the last six months. The school has been good, I was stressed happy, heartbroken, I experienced all the emotions I could have experienced within last 6 months. I dated A LOT, haha.

I was going out with a Utah boy in October - November. I liked that guy lots and lots. I had fun going on dates with him, but then it had to end, haha. I felt like a kid who got out to the playground and had a great day, and then all of the sudden I had to go home and say bye to my new best friend and probably never see him again. It was a good time though. I got to know the guy, I got to like him a lot. And even though he was not the nicest guy towards the end of that journey, I still hold only good memories about him.

After that I took a break from dating anyone in particular and just enjoyed my life for a while. It was a good time too. I had more time for myself, and was just kicking it with my friends.

Then I dated a guy from California. He was really nice. He reminded me of my dad in a lot of ways, and I wont lie that made me like him a lot. But it is in the past.

It is funny how over the last 6 months or so I wrote about relationships and loving others a lot. I learned a lot of the lessons, I made a ton of mistakes, but I feel like I became a better person along the way. Every small battle that I conquered made my heart more capable to love and appreciate the things I have in my life. I learned to appreciate and care for others in a better more meaningful way. And I am SO grateful! I learned that loving others is taking risks, but you still gotta put your whole heart into it. Chances are that your heart will get broken, scarred, and even bruised ... but I also learned that getting hurt is a necessary part of life, and that without getting hurt, it is not possible to love, and be happy, that for some reason the opposition is vital to be able to even understand what love is and how it feels if you know what I mean. Some of my friends tell me how I should put some guard on and be more careful. They all try to teach me how to not be vulnerable. I love what C.S. Lewis said it: "Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin or your selfishness. But in that casket safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable impenetrable, irredeemable. TO LOVE IS TO BE VULNERABLE!" I love the fact that my family taught me that being vulnerable is ok. My mom always tells me that I have been blessed with a special ability to love and care for others, and I am SO grateful for that. I am grateful I can love my family, friends, and other people that I meet in my life. And it is ok to get heartbroken, it is ok to be sad because things did not go the way you wanted them to go or because someone that you thought the world of hurts you; it is ok to be vulnerable :))))))) I have grown SO much by putting my heart out there, by being nice when everyone would say that I should not, by serving every guy I dated, by being there for my friends. I love "love", I love being kind, I am SO grateful ... I feel SO blessed, even though, I have gotten hurt immensely along the way ... All of those experiences made me capable to love others in a different very deep and meaningful way

Thursday, March 31, 2011

HERITAGE

As you can tell I have been doing lots of thinking recently. But yesterday and today were a couple of tough days. I learned a lot, I grew a lot, I thought about lots of things. And I feel very blessed to be honest. And I mean my life has not been particularly easy, but ... I feel lucky to be where I am, and to live the life I am living. As I go back and ponder, and look closer to what I have gotten, I realize how great of the heritage I have. And I do not want to sound prideful (even though, I am VERY prideful, haha), but I am very proud to be Ukrainian, I am very proud of my heritage. I am proud to come from the culture that appreciates people more than their income, that cares for others, and teaches us to be people of integrity. I can truly say that I have not had more dedicated and loyal friends than the ones from Ukraine or Russia. We value people more than we value "having fun". In relationships we do not think that much about "what am I getting out of this?", rather we think "how can contribute to this?" We treat each other nicely. We care. When we ask each other "How are you?", we ask because we care, and we want to know. And even if you had a crappy day, and you are down, we are there to comfort each other in every possible way. And I do not have to think much of an example. I have a friend from Russia, she is my best friend (we do not always get along perfectly, but we are best friends), she knew I was having tough couple of days. So, she took me out today. We went to the International Buffet, and we totally pigged out, haha. She did it not to look cool, but because she cares. I almost feel that Eastern Europeans bond better because we put our hearts into the relationships that we have even as friends. You would not find a more reliable, loyal, and affectionate friend / partner than an Eastern European. Our men still give flowers to their women, and treat them as their queens. Our women do not want to do guys' job and be equal with them. We do not have gender issues, we are more conservative when it comes to this, I guess. We also value education, arts, manners, we are more of a classier nation if that makes sense. Most of the Eastern Europeans speak a few (at least two) languages, and have a few degrees.
I also am absolutely proud to be a Mykho, to be from the family I am from. At times my parents seemed to be unreasonable and mean, but now as I look back ... I am SO grateful. I am grateful that my mom taught me how to use a million of knives and forks at the table, how to speak right, and how to study and work hard. I am absolutely grateful for my dad who taught me how to love and care for others, how to respect others, treat others. He taught me to appreciate arts, history, etc. My dad has taught me that there is nothing I cannot do, no limits to my abilities, and the more I live, the more I learn that this is how it is. They have been a great example to me. And I think both my sister and I have become everything our parents wanted us to become. My dad always wanted for my sister and I to be best friend, and we are not always nice to each other, but we absolutely love each other and care for each other, we are really close. My dad wanted us to be ambitious and have a good career path ... I feel like both of us have our educational priorities and goals straight. We are both motivated and result driven. I love my family!!!!!! I have learned SO much from them.
My family is amazing ... my mom, dad, and my sister are my favorite people. Because of them I am what I am, and I believe I turned out pretty well, haha. I still make mistakes and I still have lots of things to improve, but other than that ... things are great. My friends ofter refer to me as a girl with a VERY big heart, and I know that it is not because I am great, but because of the family and country I came from. Everything I am, I am because of my parents. Now, I gotta make them proud :)
Bottom line, I love my family AND my culture. I am a proud Ukrainian!!!!! And whatever happens I will always keep my identity.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I miss my papi ...

Today is one of the days when I miss my daddy a lot (I say daddy on purpose). It seems like everything went wrong today ... everything seems to be falling off my hands ... and I have been pmsing hardcore ... I can hardly control myself, lol.
My dad is the best man out there ... someone who knows how to cheer me up, how to chew me out, and how to put me back in place ... he is just perfect ... the other week I called him to ask him about my boys' problems (I know I am old enough to deal with my problems on my own ... shut up over there! haha), and he was SO sweet ... he made me laugh ... I was complaining that the guy was not showing any sort of affection ... and my dad gets into his serious voice and says: "The only thing I can think of ... is ... Kristina, that is going to sound really harsh, but I think this guy is gay ... I cannot think of any other reason for him to be like that". I was puzzled for a sec, but then I just laughed. My father thinks that I am SO good and so beautiful that there is no way any man could not like me unless he is gay. I know he is biased, but I love that theory, lol. My Dad does know how to cheer me up. I just wish he were here, so that he could hold me on days like today when I am cranky and I do not want to have anyone around, but him. I wish he could hug me tightly and say his famous "Everything will be ok, I hope this is the worst thing that happens to you in your life". And once I hear it from him ... all my troubles seem to go away ... oh, how much I love him and miss him.
I have been SO blessed with a good family, and good parents who taught me SO much. I learned to love and serve in my family, I learned how to make others happy, and be happy by treating others the best I can.
A lot of my girl friends tell me how I am too nice and I need to learn to be a little bitchier ... and I wont lie I considered it ... but I came to realize the other day that it is not worth it. I am not going to change myself for the worse just to fit in here. I am sure there are people that'd be able to appreciate me for who I am. I have a few friends who do, I also have MANY fair weather friends, but it is ok. In the end it does not matter. My parents always taught me that if I have the means to help someone or to be somewhere for someone, I am ought to. And I know it to be true. So, whatevs!
Anyway, today was tough, but I am still a happy camper. Tomorrow is another day that will bring me lots of happiness and joy.
Big hug, everyone <3

Friday, March 18, 2011

I have been thinking ...

I have been SO tired today, I pulled an allnighter last night cause we were supposed to have a quiz for my facility and property class. I studied my butt off, seriously. I was SO diligent in getting everything memorized and stuff. I got to my class today, the professor was late ... and he decided not to give us a quiz. Was I not happy? Oh, yes, I was NOT ... GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I was mad, hahahahahaha.
Anyway, it was a good day today. Thursday is always my busiest day of the week. I have four classes, and lots of things need to be done on this day.
I was really out of it . It almost felt like I was day dreaming. I thought about lots of things. I think too much, I analyze everything. Sometimes, I wish I could just turn my brains off and think about NOTHING, just like males do. Unfortunately, they did not install this feature in my brains, and now I can do nothing, but think about things all the time. 
So, today in one of my classes the professor talked about marriage and relationships a lot, and yeah, you guessed it right, it got me thinking about those matters. 
I often catch myself reflecting on how those things are in Europe and I compare cultures, dating cultures in particular. European and American cultures differ a lot. And I am not saying that American culture is bad or anything like that. I am just stating that it is different and that even though I have lived here for almost three years, I am still not used to it. Dating in Europe is VERY simple. First of all, we do not divide dating to casual dating, dating, and serious dating. If you date, you date. You like another person, you care for them, you are considerate of another person's feelings, you communicate ... it is just very easy ... does it make sense? Here on the other hand, everyone is casual about dating, sometimes, I feel like it is a big competition. Everyone is trying to overdo each other. People try to keep their options and eyes open, they never stop looking ... they are always on a hunt for someone better ... would they ever stop? I do not know ... Is that why people cheat and get divorced so often around here? Perhaps. People just do not take it seriously here. How many times have I heard "She is nice, but I am just enjoying my life, I am having fun". In Europe it is not appropriate. A lot of times I hear from Americans that we Europeans do not have standards, that we are immodest and wild ... most of it was said when I lived in Munich, Germany. We had a few of Young Single Adults (18-30 y.o.) from the States in our ward. But are we really? Let's think about morals or should I say standards of a regular LDS European... let's take a guy for instance. Most of the guys serve a mission just like they do here. They come home, they go back to school, and of course they get back to dating again. They are a little awkward cause they have not dated for the last  24 months. However, they know what they are looking for, and if they cannot find someone they really like, they just do not date. As easy and simple as that. I mean what's the point to date if the girl you are dating is not someone you wanna date? Dating her would be just unfair. I almost feel like Europeans are more considerate of other people's feelings and well-being. It feels like dating is more courteous in that part of the world. I mean isn't it how it is supposed to be?
On the other hand, Utahns are very different. Non-Committal Make Out (they call it NCMO) is a widely accepted practice. A lot of my guy friends are convinced that if you kiss a girl, it does not mean that you have to take her out again or date her. It is ok to not ever see her again. I mean they are just having fun, right? It just sounds selfish to me. "I am just enjoying the ride" - yeah, right ... who cares about what another person feels or what her / his concerns are.
I have a few friends that have more than one girl that they take out / make out and "casually" date. And it is ok here. It seems like people just do not care for each other. And what surprises me a lot is that the girls are fine with that. In Europe the guy would have gotten slapped for kissing someone else. European women respect themselves.
We are just so caught up with showing off, being better than the rest of the world, dating the hottest girl / guy, getting better grades, etc. We are after something that we do not even know what it is, and what its value. We often forget that there is always someone better than the girl / guy you are dating, always. And indeed there is always someone better than you and I. This is how the world is. And we can go out and date every available single person out there, but what does it get us in the end? Fun? What is fun? How long does that kind of fun last? Don't we all long for a normal healthy relationship? Apparently not, haha. Oh, well ... one of those days I'll understand.
Disclaimer: I am not saying that doing it the american way is wrong, I am just saying it is different from my culture. And because of that my experience here in the States has not been particularly easy. I wish people here communicated more and played less games. Life is stressful enough without it.
I am grateful to my family for teaching me how to love and care for others. The more I live, the more I see that a lot of people really do not know how to love others. I love my family, I am grateful for their example.
Anyway, those are just some of my thoughts today. 

Sunday, March 6, 2011

DAD

Today has been much better. My back feels better today. I had to sleep on the floor, lol.
I was chatting with my friend today and she said something that made me think about my dad. My friend said: "Kristina, you are like a guy. You love to solve your problems on your own, you are a football fan, and you are super chill". All of the things she said are true. But it made me think about why I am this way ... I mean I am a female in the end ... As I mentioned earlier it made me think about my dad. Many of you know that I absolutely love my dad. I mean things are different right now, my parents are divorced, and my dad has a different family now. It happened that we are not close anymore, but it does not matter.
I had the best dad growing up. I seriously could not wish for a better one. He taught me so many important things. I cherish the memories I have of him. He is the best man out there. I remember when I was little I took every word that would come out of his mouth so seriously and would literally do everything he'd ask me to do. I wanted to be like him, and I was a tomboy up to the age of 14 ... then my mom had to take over and teach me how to be a girl, haha.
My dad taught me how to work hard, exercise, respect and love others, love sports, achieve my goals and lots of other things. I am just so grateful for that.
He always treated me like a grownup and I always felt smart and important. I remember disappointing him once. I was maybe six years old. I lied to him ... He never yelled at me or spanked me, he talked to me instead ... He said: "I cannot believe it, I seriously cannot believe you did that. You just disappointed me. I trusted you because I thought you were an adult, but I guess you cannot be trusted. I do not think we can be friends anymore" OMG, it sucked!!!! I could not sleep till 3 am ... then I crawled to my parents' bed and I cried my head off apologizing. Disappointing my dad was the worst thing that could happen in my life at that time. I hold this experience close to my heart. A lot of times I relate experiences with my dad to my experiences with God. In a way I feel that I can be a good Christian because of the way I was brought up. Because of the love my dad gave me. I am so grateful for him, there are no words to express it. I love and miss him lots.
I remember in our family my parents could not ask me to do something they did not do. We had punishments for certain things and the rules applied to everyone. I think that is why I have this crazy sense of justice. My dad was super cute about it. I remember when I started playing the piano, he learned to play it with me. And to say the least my dad is NOT musically talented, not at all. However, he did try his best, and progressed as much as he could.
I remember for being rude we had to sit on the table in the kitchen without the lights on (it was pretty scary), and when my dad was rude to me (from what I remember he told me to shut up cause I was annoying, haha), he sat on the kitchen table. I remember putting matches in his eyes because I wanted him to be up when he came from a night shift. I bet it hurt him, but he was nice about it. He just took the matches out, hugged me tightly (it was so tight that I could not move), and fell asleep. He was SO calm, he never flipped at me or anything like that.
So, when I am told that I am like a guy ... I know I am the way I am cause I am a daddy's daughter. He is my man whatever happens.
When I have days like yesterday, I wish my dad was around and just could put his arms around me and tell me that everything is ok, and that things will work out and that he loves me. Sounds silly, but this is how it is.
I am proud to be a Mykho, I am proud of my upbringing. My dad gave me the best he could. And I appreciate it lots. I am also proud of my heritage and culture. I AM a Ukrainian, and I am absolutely proud of it!!!!!
Anyway, I am at my friend's house, he is probably annoyed with me, lol. I should wrap up my ramblings on here.
Hugs <3 

Today was one of those days

Today ... the only good thing that happened today was that I aced my test ... I got 96 percent on it, I should be happy about it.
Other than that everything was just wrong ... I have had this horrid backache for two days now ... last night it hurt to the point that I could not sleep and I just studied the whole night ... so, today I have been VERY cranky to say the least. I also felt that people that I want to care about my pains, just did not care whatsoever, and it drove me crazy for the longest time today. Even after the temple I felt angry and sad at the same time ... I do not know which one was more ... haha ... on top of it I think it is about that time of the month when I get cranky ... usually I deal just fine with it, but my back is hurting lots so ... I just could not help it, but I felt SO sorry for myself. I usually don't feel this way, I am a tough Soviet girl, but today ... it was different ... I went to the temple in the evening. I did initiatories today, and then went to celestial room to ponder and pray ... and the moment I sat down tears just started dropping one by one ... I felt like I was going to flood the room ... but I could not control it ... what's my deal? seriously? I hate being a girl cause sometimes I just cannot handle it. I guess sometimes it is good to cry, haha ... I feel bad cause I was rude to a few people that I really care for ... I just felt like they should have cared a little more ... I guess I was needy today ... I still am, haha ... but it is not like I get like that all the time, right? I hope I did not offend anyone ... well, now since I poured my soul out on here, I do not need to write in my journal ... so, I can go straight to bed. Let's hope I can sleep ...
Tomorrow is going to be a new and better day!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Swings ...

I have felt like hiking for a while now ... no one wants to go cause it is cold, so, today I went to the park with a friend ... Oh, my, I looooooooooooooove the swings... Especially because I am a grown up now, I am this serious girl that is very confident and independent ... that looks very self sufficient and strong ... but the second I get on the swings I turn into a little girl that screams when she goes high ... swings remind me of my dad and my childhood ... swings make me happy ... It was a good night with a good friend ... feeling happy as ever ...

Monday, February 7, 2011

Challenges ...

It is interesting how life consists of different stages ... we go through ups and downs ... in one of the Russian Comedy Shows they said that a zebra is like a life with stripes: white stripe, black stripe, FANNY (this is what we call REALLY hard and complicated times, I hope it makes sense), black stripe... Right now is one of those fanny times for me when things are so complicated that sometimes I feel like I cannot breathe. I feel like I have gone to my limits to make things work in my life, but they are still not working ... I feel like I am not that fun anymore, and I am not fun for other people to be around ... and it makes me sad ...
I was talking to my friend today about my life, she was asking me tons of questions ... and then she said something like: "Seriously, I do not get you. You can have any guy you want, you are smart, you are beautiful. What's your deal?" - and to be honest hearing that was flattering, but at the same time ... I wish this was all I needed ... I wish my life was all about pursuing fun and not worrying about anything else. But it happens that I am a very complicated little individual ... And once in a while I complicate things myself.
I was browsing the web forever today. And I was reading about King Martin Luther to be exact I was reading about the Civil Right Movement. It was an interesting subject to read about lots of interesting things happened during that time. I did not realize that Black people were that discriminated on this continent. Anyway, I came across with something Marting Luther said that caught my attention. It was actually on the ads on the side. Google is so smart it puts everything you ever search for on the ad side and there was something called "Quotes by Martin Luther King, Jr". And of course it worked and I went and read a bunch of stuff. But what impressed me was what he said about darkness: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do it". I have dealt with some bitter people recently, and I get like that once in a while myself, and I thought to myself "If we only used this remedy, if everyone started practicing this in our families and communities ... this world would have been a much better place to live in ... If we can start with ourselves, open the door to the light ... I feel like ever since I moved to American I have struggled with living in this society (and I am not generalizing, I have only lived in Utah, I would even narrow it more, I have lived in Provo - Orem area) because there is very little love in this society. People are angry, if you watch the news it is all about rage, shootings, blaming things on each other. Even look at the way products get marketed here: "Those guys suck, we are SO much better, come have our product". Where I come from you get in jail for that, it is against the law. This negative kinda aura is everywhere ... TV, newspapers, Universities, families, etc. Can we not stop for a second and think about the things that matter?
And it really starts with small things ... I am amazed about how inconsiderate people are here. I told you that my sister got me into zumba. So, twice a week my sister and I drive to Springville (which is just 8 min drive from Orem) for that. And I LOVE those workouts, the instructor is so much fun, she makes me sweat every time. Everyone tries to go earlier so that they can stand in the first row to see the instructor better cause it gets packed, BUT guess what there are a few ladies that come right before the start that just get in front of you ... they do it every week and it makes me MAD! Another thing ... driving ... I drive in Provo - Orem area, those are two small villages, not even towns ... and back home people in smaller places are nicer, cause their lives are slower ... not the case here. I had not been cut off as much in my ENTIRE life ... even freaking bus drivers try to get in front of you! When you go to the movie, people bring their infants that cry the whole time ... and it is ok ... and I am not trying to whine about it, I am just trying to explain where I come from when I say that people are inconsiderate. I just miss being around people that say: "Excuse me, thank you, you are welcome, etc" I miss European men, that open your door, that treat you like a princess regardless of whether you are dating or not. I miss culture!
Why can we not teach our children how to be good citizens? It is not hard. I was browsing facebook the other day, and one of the 27 year olds that live in my area in her activities and interests had "Farting" ... I mean ... seriously? I am not even going to expand on this.
What I was trying to say in this entry was can we be strong enough to move through our struggles and fears and open the door to love and light? I want to do that. Let's be adults, let's be real!
I have blogged a lot I hope someone reads it, haha.
Love you all. Peace <3

Saturday, February 5, 2011

February 3, 2011

Today has been a good day so far. I gave my sister a ride to the bus stop in the morning as I always do, I came home and I was SO tired that I had to take a nap ... I did not wake up till fifteen minutes past eleven, darn! After the nap I could not remember if I was the one taking my sister to the bus stop. It took me a while to come to my senses and remember that yeah, it was me, haha.
I wore my Victoria's Secret sweater dress and my black boots to school today. I ran into lots of friends that I had not seen in forever on campus today. It was kinda fun to be around people again. I also drew a lot of attention to myself, I guess guys like my Victoria's Secret sweater dress and my black boots. I love getting attention, yeah, I admit it now. I remember a few years ago some of my friends confronted me with the fact that I love attention and stuff. I remember I got so mad. I thought it was an insult because it was NOT true, lol ... It was indeed true and it still is ... you cannot blame me though, I am a girl. Every girl loves attention, even the one that never gets it. And so do I. I love attention, I love having all the guys around me, hahaha.
Anyway, I had my financial service lectures today. I usually enjoy those a lot, but today they were kinda boring. The guy talked about life insurance and he gave us a few different examples about what people do. And I just thought that it was so irrelevant for me right now. I mean I am not planning on buying life insurance. So, yeah, I had to make an effort to pay attention to the lecturer.
I felt so weak today that I did not go to my evening class. However, I did go to zumba, lol. I was SO close to not going though. My sister was kinda cranky, but I insisted. I enjoy going to zumba, it is a good and fun workout, and at the moment this is all the workout I get; and it is only twice a week. So, I could not waste it. Zumba gives me energy, I love it!
The quote of the day is: "Never love anybody who treats you like you're ordinary." - Oscar Wilde I do not think there is much left to say about this quote, I just like it.
It happened that this week I have been thinking a lot about different people that I happened to deal with in my life. I have looked into lots of things online, tried to research how people react to things and why. I came across Brene Brown a research professor at the University of Houston, and I absolutely love her!
She is amazing! I guess I like her cause I can relate to her research. I absolutely agree with what she says about vulnerability. I had to learn it the hard way. I used to numb vulnerability, and I learned that vulnerability is a core of feeling not only sadness but joy and happiness. We cannot selectively numb one emotion, when we do, we numb joy, gratitude, happiness and then ... we become miserable. Once I figured it out, I just had to practice it, and I have ... and I love it. I love being open and loving. I love being vulnerable, it empowers me with the capacity to love and care for other people. And by putting my heart out like that I do risk to get hurt, and you'd think that it might be safer to protect yourself ... but nope, it is not ... I have tried that and by "protecting" myself, I only hurt myself and other people. My family always says that I have a talent to love people, but I know indeed that everyone can do it by learning that being vulnerable is not bad, that it empowers us to experience not only shame and sadness, but also joy and happiness.

I love this quote, it describes whatever I was trying to say rambling in a few sentences above, haha. The bottom line is that love is born of vulnerability and risk. If we don't let ourselves be vulnerable, if we don't risk, we will not experience it. I know it to be true! I just wish some people would understand it and do something about it, but I cannot make them ... unfortunately. I am a control freak btw, lol ... j/k ... well ... not really, haha
That is it for today. Peace.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Sick ...

I have been blogging lots within the last few days. That what happens when I am sick or heart broken or both, haha ...
Today was a good day, I did not get much done cause I am sick. I had to go to the Health Center in the morning to get my blood drawn ... I went in my pjs ... something I'd never do at home, haha. They drew six tubes of blood ... Royal Ukrainian blood ... Now I have a big bruise on my arm ... somehow, every time a girl draws blood from me I get bruises (besides the one time my sister did it, she was good) ... maybe I just should ask for male phlebotomist next time, haha ... My test results will be ready by Friday ... I am kinda scared cause if they are bad again ... I will have to make a trip home to get everything taken care of ... No offense, but American doctors are horrible with diagnosing ... and the treatment of the illnesses that do not require surgeries suck as well ... At home I'd have an opportunity to be seen by every specialist. I will be able to have all the possible tests and know for sure what is broken. And I wont get deep in debt for doing that. It is amazing! =))) 
Anyway, at least I know I am not going to die any time soon, so, that is good, right?
I did go to work for a few hours, just cause I need to work, I need dineros ... unfortunately, my sick days are not paid for. I have been feeling so weak that I just want to sleep the whole day... I mean I am very stressed and sad and I usually lose my sleep over it, but because I am sick I have had no problems sleeping which is kinda nice. Though, excessive sleep is never good.
In the evening my friend Gallia convinced me to go to the temple, even though I did not feel like it. It turned out to be a really good experience, I love the temple! We had a blast ...
I finally got my Victoria's Secret package, yay! I had to send the other one back cause the clothes were too big for me, I had to exchange Small for Extra Small. American sizes are so flattering, I am beginning to like it, haha. Now I have my really comfy and warm dress and a pair of sexy pants. I am happy :))))))
I found a really good quote that I really like:
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense". - Ralph Waldo Emerson. I like how it says that you'll begin your tomorrow "serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense" ... My old nonsense wont matter tomorrow. It is going to be a great day. Lots of amazing things are going to happen tomorrow regardless ;)))))

You are dreaming ...

You often say…”I don’t love you”, while your soul is dying. You often say “I hate you” just to convince yourself that you do. You often say “ Goodbye forever” hoping to see the person again. You say “Go away”, hoping that the person will not see your tears. You say ”Never”, knowing that it will happen again. You often say “I am over it” when you are afraid to admit your feelings. You say “ I don’t remember you anymore” when you can’t get the person out of your head. You say” I forgot your number” when you already know it by heart. You say” we’re done” when everything has just begun. Sometimes you can’t say “I LOVE YOU” because you are afraid to hear the answer. You ask me to leave you alone when all you need is support…You are hoping, when you have no chance. You are waiting when you know that you are forgotten. You are dreaming.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Today is a new day =))))))

Got up a little later today, because my sister did not wake me up to give her a ride to the bus stop. I was not happy about it cause she had to walk in the cold, but at the same time I kinda was glad she did not have to see my puffy watery eyes ...
I have an 8 am class today, but I did not go. Good thing I have a friend in a class who was willing to submit my homework for me ...
I promised myself so many times that I will not let myself get hurt again, but somehow I am not smart enough and I get hurt over and over again by the same people ... My dad would have said that even a donkey would have learned and not acted the way I do by now ... I guess I am a little slow ... well, no, I am not. I just have a soft heart and I might look all tough and stuff, but I am not ... I forgive, and when I do ... I forget ...
I guess it is the time to be tough ... I am just scared of losing myself once I become tough. Does it sound silly? Maybe it does ... I do not know ...
I just want to be myself, I want to be a happy girl that I am ... but sometimes it is so hard! It is hard not to be bitter and mean when you get hurt ... I feel like I am five again ... I remember when I got scared I would run to my dad, put my arms around his neck and have him hug me tightly .... If you only knew how much I need it right now ... a big hug from my dad ... too bad it is not available to me anymore ...
Life is an interesting thing ... I mean I am a grownup, I am an adult. I learned lots of things, I have a few degrees, I speak a few languages. And for being a woman, I'd say I am rather successful ... To a lot of people I look independent and intimidating ... but deep down I am a little girl that gets sad, that is vulnerable, that is kind and naive in a way ... someone who wants to trust people and who keeps getting hurt over and over again ... I need my dad when I feel like this ... I need him to hold me and to tell me that everything is going to be all right ... boo, I am all sentimental ... I am being a girl. hahahaha ... oh, this brings another memory to my mind ...
I remember when I was little I did not like being a girl ... I wanted to be like my dad ... I even tried to pee standing when I was in the kindergarten ... from what I remember I was trying to prove the boys that we are not that different and that we can be friends ... it was a total failure ... wet panties AND wet shoes ... Oh, how much I miss those times. The times when I did not have to pretend ... it is SO simple when you are little ... I remember it took me seconds to make best friends with someone I just barely met ... we asked each other what our names were and that was enough ... we played together as if we have been buddies for our whole lives ... no one worried about things getting stolen, about another person taking advantage of you ... it was simple and open ... if something went wrong ... we could communicate and say something like "Hey, I do not like you because you are throwing my toys around and then you leave and I am the only one to clean. You gotta help me". It was so easy to solve problems and resolve differences.
Do not get me wrong, I love being an adult, I just feel that if we cared enough to see that little vulnerable selves in other people, we would have cared more and understood each other more ... but this is just my thinking, haha. ...
Sometimes I feel like Dorothy in Oz ... I feel out of place and disoriented ... I do not feel home ... I wish I could just click the heels and go "home" the place where I am comfortable, where everything is familiar ... too bad it is not an option ...
Anyway, I should finish my rambling, go eat, take my supplements, and go to work, yay! Sorry if I bored you all to death.
 

Life as it is ...

I have lived in America for almost three years. I live in a "Happy Valley" where everyone is supposedly happy and nice ... However, a lot of times I find myself missing home ... missing nice people ... a lot of times I feel like people here do not even care about anything, but how much money they make, what car they drive, and how much more successful they are than their neighbor ... sigh ...
I grew up in a society where it is rude to eat a chocolate bar in front of other kids because you gotta share ... and maybe the other kid left his / her snacks at home or simply cannot afford one ... it is rude to put a gum in your mouth without offering your friends one ... it is rude to start eating before everyone has been served their food ... etc. etc. We are taught to be considerate since we are little kids.
I find that here when people ask you "How are you?" or "How is it going?" they do not really care. Last week I was experimenting so, I replied to the standard "How are you?" "Oh, it could be better" ... and guess what? No one noticed ... literally NO ONE ... funny ... or should I say sad? I do not know ...
I miss living around people that actually care ... that would be friends with you not because you are smart and help them with homework, not because they want to go to med school and you have a good sugar mama potential, but because they like you for what you are, and they just care for you because you are such a good friend and they are amazing themselves...
Often I feel that I live in the world of fakeness, and it makes me so sad. And when you care for someone it throws people off ... they think you are sweet, but kinda weird, I mean seriously, why would you do anything like that? I have been told so many times "You are too sweet and nice, Kristina". It is funny cause in this society it is a bad thing ... It so does not make sense to me ....
I am just tired of Provo - Orem. I am tired of getting disappointed. I am tired of selfish blokes ... I am ready to move out of here and to move on ... Can someone, please, fast forward the time for me? I need one of those remotes from the Click movie, it would be sick to have one, hahaha ...
Other than that life is good ... I just wish some people cared a little more ... but it is ok :)
This year has been good to me so far. I have been trying to eat healthy and to be better at exercising. Yeah, embarrassing enough, I am outta shape. And I was eating crap the whole 2010. It feels good to eat healthy and not eating out sure pays off =) School has kept me busy big time. I am taking too many credits, but I love it. I love being busy and nerdy, haha. Yeah, I am a nerd, I am not even going to try to deny it :P
Life is full of fun and adventures when you do what you are supposed to do. This year is going to bring me lots of joy and happiness, watch it happen!