Challenges ...

It is interesting how life consists of different stages ... we go through ups and downs ... in one of the Russian Comedy Shows they said that a zebra is like a life with stripes: white stripe, black stripe, FANNY (this is what we call REALLY hard and complicated times, I hope it makes sense), black stripe... Right now is one of those fanny times for me when things are so complicated that sometimes I feel like I cannot breathe. I feel like I have gone to my limits to make things work in my life, but they are still not working ... I feel like I am not that fun anymore, and I am not fun for other people to be around ... and it makes me sad ...
I was talking to my friend today about my life, she was asking me tons of questions ... and then she said something like: "Seriously, I do not get you. You can have any guy you want, you are smart, you are beautiful. What's your deal?" - and to be honest hearing that was flattering, but at the same time ... I wish this was all I needed ... I wish my life was all about pursuing fun and not worrying about anything else. But it happens that I am a very complicated little individual ... And once in a while I complicate things myself.
I was browsing the web forever today. And I was reading about King Martin Luther to be exact I was reading about the Civil Right Movement. It was an interesting subject to read about lots of interesting things happened during that time. I did not realize that Black people were that discriminated on this continent. Anyway, I came across with something Marting Luther said that caught my attention. It was actually on the ads on the side. Google is so smart it puts everything you ever search for on the ad side and there was something called "Quotes by Martin Luther King, Jr". And of course it worked and I went and read a bunch of stuff. But what impressed me was what he said about darkness: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do it". I have dealt with some bitter people recently, and I get like that once in a while myself, and I thought to myself "If we only used this remedy, if everyone started practicing this in our families and communities ... this world would have been a much better place to live in ... If we can start with ourselves, open the door to the light ... I feel like ever since I moved to American I have struggled with living in this society (and I am not generalizing, I have only lived in Utah, I would even narrow it more, I have lived in Provo - Orem area) because there is very little love in this society. People are angry, if you watch the news it is all about rage, shootings, blaming things on each other. Even look at the way products get marketed here: "Those guys suck, we are SO much better, come have our product". Where I come from you get in jail for that, it is against the law. This negative kinda aura is everywhere ... TV, newspapers, Universities, families, etc. Can we not stop for a second and think about the things that matter?
And it really starts with small things ... I am amazed about how inconsiderate people are here. I told you that my sister got me into zumba. So, twice a week my sister and I drive to Springville (which is just 8 min drive from Orem) for that. And I LOVE those workouts, the instructor is so much fun, she makes me sweat every time. Everyone tries to go earlier so that they can stand in the first row to see the instructor better cause it gets packed, BUT guess what there are a few ladies that come right before the start that just get in front of you ... they do it every week and it makes me MAD! Another thing ... driving ... I drive in Provo - Orem area, those are two small villages, not even towns ... and back home people in smaller places are nicer, cause their lives are slower ... not the case here. I had not been cut off as much in my ENTIRE life ... even freaking bus drivers try to get in front of you! When you go to the movie, people bring their infants that cry the whole time ... and it is ok ... and I am not trying to whine about it, I am just trying to explain where I come from when I say that people are inconsiderate. I just miss being around people that say: "Excuse me, thank you, you are welcome, etc" I miss European men, that open your door, that treat you like a princess regardless of whether you are dating or not. I miss culture!
Why can we not teach our children how to be good citizens? It is not hard. I was browsing facebook the other day, and one of the 27 year olds that live in my area in her activities and interests had "Farting" ... I mean ... seriously? I am not even going to expand on this.
What I was trying to say in this entry was can we be strong enough to move through our struggles and fears and open the door to love and light? I want to do that. Let's be adults, let's be real!
I have blogged a lot I hope someone reads it, haha.
Love you all. Peace <3